i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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