Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
