Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
