U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
