Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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