I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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