Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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