i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
NoShamevember. You game?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
