Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
