K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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