So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
