he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
