I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
did i just pee glitter
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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