Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
