Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
