Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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