Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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