I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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