I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
