So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
