I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize