GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
