Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
In America we eat man semen.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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