if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
