i just wanna soil my oats bro
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
