How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
