I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
