: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
