I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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