is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
