laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
nutella sex= disaster
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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