That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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