i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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