how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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