thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
