you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
