I like my sex mixed with concussions.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
