halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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