Fuck appropriateness.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Randomize
