i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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