can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
