i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
