I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
