Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
