Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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