Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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