weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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