Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize