What a fucking waste of an outfit
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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