Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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