Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
