So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
