I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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