i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
