who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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