no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
