Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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