I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
