i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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